Saturday, June 02, 2007

Stop Surfing and Start Knitting!!

I've been awake for an hour now and have been drinking my coffee and reading knitting blogs. Dreamily gazing at everyone's fabulous projects. Trying to forget about the fact that I have 15+ projects in the works. Currently I can think of 3 that are intimidating the crap out of me.

1. Ribby Shell from Chicknits - I diligently did 2x2 ribbing on this blasted thing for 13 inches. I compare that type of knitting to listening to my Mother-in-Law talk about her hip surgery and the resulting bone shard from her femur. Not that I'm not concerned. I truly am. However, after the 1st listen it gets super old. The new joke with Tuna and I is to use the phrase "I have a shard" whenever we can. It makes us laugh way more than it probably should. Anywhoooo, after almost poking my eyes out to alleviate the boredom, I have split the front and back and have reached the shoulder shaping on the back. It seems I have come to a part of the pattern that is in a language unknown to me. What I really mean by that is I have no *!&$^% clue what this part of the pattern is talking about. Am I retarded? Am I missing a certain part of my brain that I can't understand what dear ol' Bonnie Marie Burns is referring to when she simply states "bind off 6 sts once then 7 sts once then 7 sts once. Finish Row". Excuse me, WHAT??? After reading this "instruction" 5+ times, I calmly put the shell aside and muttered numerous swear words under my breath. Then I started a new project to make myself feel better.

2. Back to School Vest from Fitted Knits - Damn it I love this book. Ms. Japel's patterns have always made me a bit giddy. She is incredibly talented and I wish wish wish I had even an iota of her skill. Almost finished with this knit and I came to realize that my wishing didn't come true. I'm supposed to have a certain number of sts on my needle so I begin to count them with a whir of excitement in my belly because I just know I'll have the right number. Oh Holy hell....she says I should have 16 but my count stops at 14. Count again...I must have skipped a few numbers. Nooooooooooooooooo. 14 it is. I have screwed up. Will I notice if one strap isn't as wide as the other? Of course I'll notice. I have to frog back to where I bound off for the neck. I am terrified to perform this act. I will put this project in the closet and not visit it again until I feel capable. That was 2 weeks ago and I have pulled the vest out of the closet several times. Only to stroke it lovingly a bit and then weep and put it back in the closet. In classic Me style, I start a new project to make myself feel competent.

3. Rusted Root from Zephyr Style - I cast on for this a few nights ago. It scares me and I haven't even screwed up yet (I don't think so anyway).

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